growing old

The other night I was on the phone and the person I was talking to told me that my response said that I was intelligent but young. To this, I replied, "Well good, I'm like Peter Pan, I never want to grow up." I was more defending myself than being honest. Truthfully, I do want to grow old.. However, I plan on enjoying life along the way.

You see, in about a month,  I turn 19. Young, definitely. But old enough to have experienced some aspects of life. But obviously, not all. Except, that just took me off track. I'm only going to be able to say that I'm 18 for 34 more days. And then, I can never say it honestly again. I like being 18, I like that I'm old enough to vote and know what's going on in the world. I like that at 18, I still have enough naivete to believe that I can change the world. I know there are bad things happening, but I still think I can make a difference. I'm excited to turn 19, then 25, then 40, then 75. But I'm in no rush to grow up. Think about it, we only have 365  days to be each age. At times, it seems like an eternity. But thinking back on it, it's really no time at all.

Yes I'm young. Yes, I can still see things through a child's eyes. Yes I'm old. Yes, I can understand the importance of decisions. I'm in no hurry. I'm not afraid to grow up.  Obviously, I have fears. I don't wanna disappoint my family or friends, I don't want to fail. And I keep changing my mind on what I actually want to do with my life. But I have decided that I want to change the world. And I hope that for the rest of my life, I keep my 18 year old perspective that I can.